I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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