Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize