You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
