He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
