Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
