chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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