if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
