i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
