can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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