I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
