yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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