i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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