I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize