I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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