I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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