My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
