She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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