Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I CAN MOONWALK!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
