first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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