Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There was a lot of him and a little penis
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
