you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
