Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
