if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize