Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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