Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
