when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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