He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
