I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
