tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
being pregnant is like rehab
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize