i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
