u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize