I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
