Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
