Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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