her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My dick has a subreddit
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize