Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
