if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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