Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
