my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
