I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize