Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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