you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
