Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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