ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
