this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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