I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
