Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
