god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize