Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
