so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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