Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
