i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just high enough for therapy.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
