im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
