This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
