she was so not down for the gang bang
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
