ugly people sure do ruin things
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is the high leading the old right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
