Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
either way he was missing a nipple.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
