what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
