I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
