the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize