Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
