My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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