I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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