She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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