your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
