Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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