when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
