Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
