Define "chronic" masturbator.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize