I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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